things of meaningful unimportance

spring mattress+velour cover+hardwood frame+couch/bed interchangeability=the new futon in my apartment. its the most comfortable/amazing/inviting futon one could ask for. i often find myself sitting in it just because. that along with the few other improvements the apartment has undergone has made for a new and improved living situation...except for the absence of steve of course.

went weightlifting today with my new YMCA membership in the hopes of becoming less rotund in the belly area. physical activity makes me feel good. reminds me of a great line from the play in which i am currently involved:

"Let us not waste our time in idle discourse! Let us do something, while we have the chance! It is not every day that we are needed. Not indeed that we personally are needed. Others would meet the case equally well, if not better. To all mankind they were addressed, those cries for help still ringing in our ears! But at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not. Let us make the most of it, before it is too late! Let us represent worthily for once the foul brood to which a cruel fate consigned us! What do you say? It is true that when with folded arms we weigh the pros and cons we are no less a credit to our species. the tiger bounds to the help of his congeners without the least reflexion, or else he slinks away into the depths of the thickets. But that is not the question. What are we doing here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come."

don't want to explain anymore, but its a great line from a great play.

i love steve

a painter with every color of the rainbow thinks he can be more creative than an artist with only charcoal*

steve is moving out this week...how do i feel?...guess

its 2:18 in the morning and steve and i have just spent the last 20 minutes talking and listening to dave matthews and the red hot chili peppers...(its 2:19 now) tonight might have been the most fun i've had all summer, and by might be i mean definitely was. party with everyone i've come in contact with in the last several years of my life, literally, with live covers of 70's hits by the best musicians grove city has ever seen...ever. people who wouldnt ever see each other, let alone shake hands, hug, and have a conversation, hanging out, jamming, dancing, and drinking a few beers as though they had been friends since elementary school...sweet

the point is, i really love steve, in a way that a guy would love a roommate he doesnt share a bed with...you know what i mean. he just gets it...you may not know what i mean, but if you do, good for you, because you get it too.

so here's to you steve.

*steve's mom

i'm sorry

i just want to apologize real quick...it seems i've made a terrible blunder. its actually spelled seizure, not siezure, as i would lead you to believe. i'm sorry, please don't think less of me.

Siezures

hello blog world friends. i haven't written a blog in well over a month, i know. also i haven't written a blog. in fact, i dont even know if blog writing is still and cool and popular thing to do these days, but for lack of anything else to do, and since i just remembered my username and password, i'm going to chance it.

first, let me explain. a few weeks ago i had a bunch of siezures. if you dont know about siezures, they are when you lose control of your body and shake uncontrollably, unable to speak or think clearly or respond to anything. or sometimes you just sit still and stare completely unresponsively. i've had them in all forms, the first of which sent me to the hospital in an ambulance, an event that was repeated a few days later. so the last month of my life has been a combination of being in the hospital, or laying on my parents' couch watching tv, unable to balance, think, speak, read, and above all, remember things effectively. pretty crappy way to live i suppose. then, in what seems like a dumb practical joke, i was given (by professional doctors) a medication i'm allergic to, which sent me all out of whack. but let me clear something up right now. i am not complaining. i'm just letting you know what i've been doing. if theres one thing that i've learned through all this, and there is, its that i have nothing to complain about.

i've taken a lot of things for granted in my life. among them are health, coordination, and driving priviledges (i've lost my license for 6 months). bad thing to do. taking things for granted is so easy, so look out for it.

if theres another thing to be learned here its that i need to care for other people more. i've found that i have a lot of friends to care about me...they came to the hospital to see me, even though hospitals are the worst places to be in the world. i've never shown that i care about anybody the way people have shown me...shame on me. i have a friend who was always the first to check on me in the hospital and at home. a few years ago he started having irregular heart beat and was life flighted to pittsburgh. he was only in the hospital for a day but i dont know if i went to visit him when he got home.

side note: when i was a freshman in high school when my now friend tyler got brain cancer...brain cancer. so there.

big shout out now to my mother, who took care of me more than i deserved to be taken care of. i actually got mad at her a couple times for trying to take my temperature at some ridiculous time or waking my brother up if she had to leave in the morning so i wouldnt be alone in the house

heres the thing about siezures...you forget things. i've forgotten many of the major events of the past year of my life, and can recall nothing of the beginning of this summer, except for what i've been told. i've started to remember things again, as the doctor assured my i would, but i dont know how long it will take, so if i've forgotten something i did with you, dont be offended. i promise i wish i could remember and i will try hard.

thats my story about siezures. other than that i'm having a great summer and i hope everyone else is too.